..a day of information gathering..

so today there is no slum visit, no community visit, no youth meetings, today is the day we (Susanne and i) have been waiting for, a day that will turn out to be much better than we could even imagine..one thing that you need know, if you have never done trainings for other people, that is, you can prepare as much as you want to, but it is really the first couple of minutes of that particular training that will decide how the overall outcome will be, it is here where you set the tone for the whole day(s), where you get the team to be interactive, participate, laugh, smile and share... - or it is here where you loose all of the above! needless to say that any trainer stepping into a session with a group of people he / she has never met before is one thing, but stepping into a group that is soo incredible different from your own culture as Sweden / Denmark and India is, is a completely diffferent thing, to do that, that is stressful, that is very tense, and it is some challenge, so add on top of that, the fact that we were suppose to start at 10.30, we arrived at 10.45, and nobody was there, the room was locked, and we stood on the stairwell, waiting for 15 min, then waited additional 15 - 20 min once we came into the room.. - all in all not the kinda start that you dream of as a trainer, it is actually one of your worst nightmares.. - if not THE worse one! So finally we manage to get started, it is all or nothing, oh one more thing we are working through a translator that makes it even more fun, so we kick it off, and i am happy to say that within 2 min, Susanne and i have their full attention, you can see how much they are trying to catch all the words we are saying in English, hoping that will understand at least something, then waiting impatiently to get it translated into Tamil, only to reflect and do the woppel, it feels great to finally be working with them, it feels great to have their attention, i am so more relaxed now, and i am getting into my "zone" i am reminded a couple of time by Prija (our translator) that she needs time also to translate, she is smiling and can see my excitement for finally working with the team here - so Susanne and i have really never working together before, but i have to admit, i feel like i know her working style so well, and seemingly she knows mine, so we ping pong over thoughts, questions, input, feedback, left, right, up and down around the group, it is dynamic, it is fast, it is full of stories, experience, conversations, and thoughts and ideas..and the team seems to enjoy it a great deal, they are some much more active that i dared hope for, they are sharing their problems, and their ideas, suggestions, and we address a lot of relevant items, and then it happens........ - electricity goes down, fanes are off, and it is 35 degrees and we are right in the sun, i feel it coming, within 5 min my shirt is wet, and i am dripping from my forehead, i am struggling to a balance between coaching, training and drinking enough water to ensure that i will not collapse. I manage to take down almost 2 ltr of water in less than 60 min. and still i am forcing myself to drink more, one thing i have learned by now is that water bottles are key to success in india, you need to have water with you all the time, otherwise good luck...

After continuing without electricity we reach the point of having a short lunch break, and this is where it gets even more interesting, the chairs are being taken away and one lady comes with some paper sheets, they kinda look like normal A-4 sheets, just green, she comes with a huuuug pot of rice, literally enough for a small army, another pot with sauce, and then she starts to serve to +20 people, fried rice, sauce and fried boiled eggs (which is really delicious, imagine boiled eggs, then fried) it is absolutely perfect, of course we are eating with our right hand, i am actually getting the hang on this - i really enjoy eating with my hand (not sure it would go well in Slovakia...), the first portion is done, and automatically i am getting served another one, i didnt even manage to say yes or no, she just serves as a reflex, so we ask her if she made it all herself, and she answers that she got up early to prepare for all of us and that she is very happy that we are eating her food, and that it is a privellige for her to be allowed to cook for us - wow, i mean honestly i feel it as a privellige that somebody can be bothered cooking for me, that doesnt happy to often.. so i eat this portion and i am full, it was great - by fare the best food i have had in Chennai till now... and then i start to hear berbing sounds from some to the women, and cant help to ask if it is accepted, they answer something funny "a berp is the stomach that tell you, you are full".. i find it funny, and sweet - again i am not sure it would be accepted in restaurants in Europe.. :-)) so lunch is almost over and we are about to get up, oh did i forget to tell you - the lunch was served on the floor in the room we are having the training in - you have to love India .... and so, slowly but sure that is what i am starting to do - fall in love with India, almost like love at first sight..

Lunch is over, stomachs are full, heads are spinning with thoughts and ideas, and it is time for us to get some excitement going, so susanne kicks off the session with a game, and they are loving it is - they are laughing and sincerely having fun, we again didnt know what to expect with having them do a game, but now we know - they love games (mental note - this team really loves sweets and games, add more of this on the next training :-) after the game, we go into group conversations, and the conversations are flying around the room, if we had dynamics before, we now see fireworks (maybe because Diwali is soo close by..) they are discussing, talking, listening, asking, writing, laughing and smiling.. - and i couldnt be more happy than i am right now, it is running perfect. After some 40 min of having them doing group exercises they are asked to come and present to the others in the group, they do so with great pride, which is wonderful, we all discuss what we found, and how to move from there, we work through the hours like ice in the sun, and then our afternoon caj is coming, more water, more work, more translation, more conversations, discussions, more sharing, more feedback, more input ... but above all, more interaction - i almost dont believe my own eyes, they are seemingly only getting in 3rd gear, and now they warmed up, and then all of a sudden it is time to summarize and close off this first session with them - it is already after 17 and many of them have a long way home - it seems like nobody really want to finish the session, least of all me ... - i am so happy, so excited, and soo proud of our team, and i share that with them, i ask them to give us 1 thing the got out of this session, and we hear a lot of great things, i hear my name in Tamil several times (and this makes me go red - i swear, you can ask Susanne about it ...) one man even tells me that he sees my energy and dynamics as great and that i use my body language very good (i will others judge me on that one - for those of you who really know me, know that i am not good in taking compliments..) - i take this as an opportunity to of course thank him, but also to ask him why he thinks that i use my body language so much as i do - he answers "because you love what you do, it is your passion and it excites you, and this rubs off on people" ... i ask him if he will do that one he trains, he answers "aboslutely"

... Today was a wonderful day ... - a long day, a great day, a day of new information, a day of new faces, a day of new ideas and thoughts, a day of excitement, a day of energy, a day of dynamics, a day of fireworks, a day of passion .. but most important, today was the first day of what i believe will be many more great days with this wonderful team of people ...

..an evening meeting with Indias future leaders..

okay so last posting for tonight, as it is already 22 here, so i wanted to share with you a short little post, a post that is about Susanne and i sitting down in a meeting with a youth commitee, with youngsters between 19 to 23, after another short introduction of who we are an why we are here, we ask each of them to introduce themselves, they are all either at university or just done with university - some already having their first job, after the introduction they become full of anticipation - what are these two people going to say or ask, Susanne and i, have developed great "interviewing skills" and we have now have a natural flow of asking questions, following up on each others questions, we start to ask them about what they believe are the issues in India now a days, what they would like to change, how they plan on changing their communities, we talk about the roles within the communities, the lack of respect that many men have towards women, and how these must change and will change with them being the new generation of Chennai.. After having our initial round of questions, i feel the need for me to challenge them a bit - so i ask them about what they will do now and in the near future, they having very good answers, they want to join politics to make different regulation changes, they want to become police officers to get rid of corruption, they want to work as social workers to engage the different groups into more developing their communities even more, they want to start NGOs to have higher local impact on people, all in all these young ones have ideas, they have passion, they have a drive, they realize that they are the future of India...

So we are about to finish up a very interesting and dynamic meeting - i cant help but asking them for their commitment, their commitment to do the impossible, to promised me that whatever they do - never to give up, never to back down, always fight for what they believe in, to respect each other, to support each other, and work for and with each other... - they look at me, smile, and promise me - that  they will make this promise to me.. i commit to them if they ever need my thoughts or ideas on anything, that they can contact me, and this seems to be something very BIG for them, they seem very excited about this offer, we give them our e-mails and they are almost fighting over who can copy them first ... - i think we have made a good two-way commitment, i ask them for one other thing, and that is to understand the cause and consequence and focus on resolving the problem with addressing the real cause of why the people do what they do ... they agree with me, i tell them from my own experience, that i have heard it cant be done a million times, and how that motivates me to prove to people that it can be done.. finally we ask them to not look at problems but support with solutions.. These future leaders of India seem to get it, they seem to understand how much responsibility is placed on their young shoulders, and they accept this responsibility.. and one young boy says something that makes me smile, "one day the youth of India will get the chance to shine, and that chance is now.." and with that we finish our meeting ... my friends yes, one day the youth of India will have the chance to shine - that day might come before you know it ...

...."either we find a way, or we will make a way - but one thing that is for sure, there is always a way..."

...Pota - what a celebration..

So today is not only stories about workers and there lifes, today there is also a story about celebration, a celebration that was in September, but when the women in this community found out Susanne and i were coming, they waited till now to celebrate so we could be part of it.. the celebration we are about to witness is call "Puja" which is something leading up to the yearly Diwali (celebration of lights, more about this next week - when it is actually celebrated..), so the celebration of Puja is something in the direction of worthshipping the Goddess Lakshmi and she in return will bless you with wealth, and it works something like this, you have to paint, or add colors on any tool or equipment you use for your work, then a small little alter is prepared, with fruits, rice, some sweets, lights with and without smell  - after that, they do some prayers, funny enough this is something that Kumar is really use to, so he is fast in making it look wonderful, you can see how passionate he is about this, i am sure he wants to make an impression on all of the women that have shown up to share this celebration with us.. - i think he is enjoying being centre of attention, and to be honest i am enjoying the rest from being the centre a lot, i am actually enjoying myself so much with having Kumar ordering the women aside so he can prepare it for them, as he believes that the man has a strong role to play in this.. one thing you might recall from previous postings is that, in the slum, the men arent really playing a very strong role - they are not very active, and all in all they are not really being to much of what we would categorize as a "man" .. so the ladies are very impressed with Kumar stepping up to his responsibility as a man, showing them what a really Indian man should act and be like.. after Kumar and the women are done with all the preparations, we are offered small bags that contains rice, fruits and some sweets, we sit for sometime, eat, talk and just relax, at this moment we could be anywhere in the world, we are enjoying this special moment - and not once does it reach my mind that we are sitting in the middle of the Indian slum, strange isnt it - that with the right people, with the right atmosphere, it doesnt matter where you are.. slum or no slum... its all about making the most out of each moment, this is what India has taught me already .. a lesson i hope never to forget .. - and now we are off for lunch and then meeting with the youth community, i can tell already now, it will be a great evening ...  

..A community leaders story..

So another morning starting with yoga, and this time it seemed like our instructor was pushing us a bit further, new exercises and more focus and explanation today.. - i am getting all adicted to this, i feel i am more relaxed, my breathing is getting better (i mean i have always had problems with my breathing, i breath mainly through my mouth - and yoga is all about nose.. - what a challenge that is for me), so after yoga, a fast wash in cold water, and then off to meet my colleagues for breakfast, and to be honest i am starting to get more and more into the food here, really nice and tasty..

Kumar is waiting for us, and he is taking us direct to a local slum community, this community is for "domestic workers", we enter what seems to be a small little school, or at least something like that, it is a 2 x 4 meter room, with no chairs, a door, a couple of old fans in the sealing, a table and some children drawing on the wall, besides that nothing... - it takes around 2 min. before the room fills up with women, all from this community - all domestic workers, we get introduced as so many times before, and we start with our interview, i want to share with you the story of "Mythili", another wonderful story of doing the impossible..

Mythili is i would guuess in the end of her 40s, a strong women, full of humor, and energy, she finished school when she was 11 - so she didnt speak and write proper, she is sitting and teasing the other "girls" there, she is called a direct and powerful women (which is shown when she slaps our translator hard on her back - in a very friendly way..) she tells us that she was use to do domestic work, until she started to prepare "snacks" and sell it on the street, now she is making more money - it was the organization that i work with that made this happen for her, with self-help programs, with education programs and more.. - now she is better off, what a wonderful story.. unfortunately the story takes a sad turn, when we find out that she lost both her son, and her husband, she lives alone with her mother, nobody to take care of her when she gets older..she starts to talk to us about what has changed, and what stills needs to change, and although these women has done a great job till now, almost the impossible, there is still a long way to go, it is clear to them and clear to us, right
now the are trying to get the minimum wages enforced with a partition signed by the community. But there is something worse coming, something much worse, the local government has decided to evict them all, to make place for new apartments, the bulldozer has already been here a couple of time, every time Mythili has been able to "scare" them off, half of the community has been moved already, it is only a matter of time before the rest will move, unless Mythili takes action, she has tried to get support from the other women, however it seems like they are not willing to support her on this, it seems like the are scared of speaking up, even speaking through Mythili, they are scared, scared of what might happen, to them and their families.. we leave this topic as i can see that she is getting to emotional on this, we ask her what she would like to accomplish still, she tells me that she wants that every "older" woman should have the possibility to learn how to read and write, once again a noble thing, and i believe that Mythili can do this, she can ensure that her community will learn to write and read, the question is really if it will be here or in a different community... Mythili is a strong women - in every sense of the word, it is fantastic and truly amazing to see what she has gone through and still her smile lights up the whole room (that has gone dark because the electricity turns off 11.00), i have found another role model, another community leader, and like some many others like her, it is not about her, it is about her community .. Susanne asks her one last question, "who will take care of you when your mother is not her, when you get old?" - her answer is "Jesus Christ will.." and Mythili he will take very good care of you - with all the good you have done...  

...kids, kids and kids...

So the last story of today / tonight is about a wonderful time spend in company with a children-group. So we get seated in chairs right in front of all the kids, we have a short introduction to who we are, where we are from and why we are here (to be honest i have never seen so many kids staring at me at once..) they ask us a couple of questions, and then we ask them some questions, these kids are in the range from 4 - 14 i guess, then the do a Tamil prayer song for us, the run through their agenda topics from last week, ask each other questions, and literally these children runs this "meeting" themselves, i am sooo impressed and somehow proud of them, they talk about who is the minister of this and the mister of that .. and they interact perfect with each other ... One thing that is funny is to see how fast the news has been travelling, that Susanne and i would be coming, and when we are finally there, within minutes, children and parents are coming over to see us, the crowd is growing... So now we believe that the children have had their part of the program, so we break out the sweets that we have brought, and the children all of a sudden are standing on top of each other - we pass the candy, sweets, chewing gums, all of it around, and the children seems to be enjoying themselves a lot ... - we see a lot of smiles, both from kids and adults... after 10 - 15 min with handing out sweets it is time for us to say our goodbyes to all of them, and here starts the most amazing, crazy, strange, interesting and unexplainable thing soo far, the parents comes up to us to ask for our autographs like we are famous or something, like we are celebrities, we get to sign calendars, books, even the bible... we have men, women, children, old, young coming up taking photos of us, shaking my hand, touching me, thanking me, i have babies being handed to me so they can get close to me, so i can touch with my hand, i have one older man that has been sitting in the back the whole time, coming up to me, placing his hand in mine, moving me hand to his head, making a religious gesture / sign ... he has tears in his eyes... he thanks me for coming, that is the only words he is able to get out... - and then i am like a proper celebraty rushed off to my own personal rickshaw, Kumar fast pulls out of there, while the children are running after us.. Susanne and i are very quiet on the way back - then we start to discuss what just happened, we were treated like kings, almost like holy people, us, two normal people - a normal woman and man from the Nordics, a Mr. and Mrs. average joe and jane .. but then it hits us, that for these people we are the first foreigners that has ever taken the time to come and talk to their children, to visit them in the slum, to see how the live, to listen to them, and spend time with them, for them we are special, for them we are something more, something extra, isnt that funny - because in my eyes i am not special, in my eyes, them living the lives they do, having almost nothing, and still be able to laugh and smile - now that my friends makes them special, that my friends makes them unique..

...so remember whatever you do, never give up, and never stop trying.. - and you are special, you are unique...

..just another day in the slum..

Kumar is arriving some 5 min late and he is apologizing deeply, "i am sorry sir, traffic sir, i am sorry...come come" and we get into the rickshaw and off we go, it seem like Kumar is trying to pick up some of the lost time and is speeding a bit more today than yesterday - i must say that i have full confidence in him abilities to handle his rickshaw.. after a bit of travelling we are at the office again, we meet and greet with the team members that showed up seemingly only to see us, we sit for 5 min with Virgil to brief her on our experiences from last night and what we feel and are going through emotional, it seems to be wasted words, as she is very clear with what we feel - it is like she reads my mind, she sees into my heart, and explains that why what we are about to do for her organization is so important, improve the skills of a selected few - to have them carry this on to the "grass-root" level, and have even more community changes, create even more community leaders. Thanking Virgil for her time, we are again sitting in Kumars blue rickshaw (normal rickshaws are yellow by the way...) and we are off to the slum again for a whole day ..

So our first stop on the road is the organizations office that is located 20 meter from a railroad crossing, on the 2nd floor, its pretty big and taking the location into consideration, actually rather nice. So we start off with a staff meeting, where Susanne and i get to ask the staff members there pretty much anything, they are really engaged in the conversation and time flies, before we know of it - we are off to our first visit, a visit of a "steel fabric".. okay so when i hear "steel fabric" i think of 100s of people, steel everywhere, and loud noise everywhere, i guess i got a bit of steel, some people and a lot of noise correct!! So we go deeper into the slum, to find a couple of what looks to be a house without a front side, it is open like a carage, here we find three young men working with steel, they are eager to invite us in to show us their craft, which exsist of hammering, cutting, welding, and polishing, we meet and greet - we move across the street to meet some more workers, and we soon become the centre of all attention, all eyes are up on us, pictures are being taken, not of them, but funny enough many of the steel workers pulls out a mobile phone and starts snapping pictures of Susanne and i, this here is strange, we get the feeling that we are like celebraties, and that is not a feeling i am use to... - so the story behind this "steel fabric" was and is, that they were use to hire children to do their work, it was cheaper and the children wouldnt complaint at all, thanks to a lot of work from the local teams and all the support staff members, they have been able to take these children out of the fabric and put them back in schools, have men take over this job, sure the salaries are increased a bit, but here is the interesting thing, once the team started explaining the owner of this business that childe labour is wrong and why, what etc.. the owner accepted it and changed his stand-point, and is now an active support of the organization, interesting what a "little" push in the right direction can achieve..(i know it is not that easy - that is not what my point is, it rather being, by engaging people in a two-conversation a lot of things can change..) After the visit to the steel fabric,we work over to our first house visit - we take off our sandals, enter the living room, that also serves as the bedroom in the evening, here we meet a whole group of women, friends, family and others that just came over to see Susanne and i, all in all they live 6 people in a room that is no bigger than a 3x3 meter room, with a tiny kitchen, a something looking like a toilet / bathroom, we are offer my new found favorit drink CAJ, and off goes the conversation, the women are telling us about their lives, their stories, about their families, their children, their hopes and dreams, all so different, and yet the denominator in their lives seems to be the same, it seems to be - that they have taken owership over their own lives, they are taking responsibility for their own future, getting educated, getting busy with work, providing a better future for their children, oh and where is the husband in this equation, that was my question as well - so i ask them this question, and the whoopeling starts, their husbands are unemployeed, out drinking caj, or in many worse cases out getting drunk.. - what a rolemodel they are... and yet it seems that the second most importanting thing these women grave for, is simply respect from their husbands, i have difficulties accepting that, difficulties with it because these women deserves much more than just respect from their husbands.. they are leaders, community leaders, one woman even ran for office at this current election 3 days ago, yet she only looks for respect from her husband - how ironinc!

After this visit we move over to another one, this time in much worse housing conditions, i am sorry to be this direct, but you cant even call it a house, it is 4 walls, with something looking like a roof .. inside is a women on the ground, with a kaske on her left leg, she had it stitched some 4 weeks ago, and now is not able to work, and she feels guilty for the fact that she cant work right now, we hear her story of how she is taking care of 3 children, her husband is sometimes working, money are short, but she some how manages to "find" some 100 rupees that she ask one of the neighbours to take and go and buy some drinks for Susanne and i, we fast insist that we dont need anything more and that we had caj and water and and and... i couldnt bare having her spend unnesecary money on buying me something to drink. I ask her what her dreams are - and she answers, to have my daugthers to go to university and marry good, i ask her about her dreams for herself, she politely shakes her head, and tells me "i dont have any dreams for myself, only for my children, i am not important, only they are"... - she is almost in tears, i feel tears coming to my eyes, imagine thinking that you, yourself is not "important" .. i politely correct her, "for your children you are important, for this community you are, and for that i thank her" ... i think she accepts my words, but i dont think she will change her opinion about herself...

We get back into the rickshaw, move to our final house visit, here we meed a grandmother, taking care of her grandchild, her daughter - well she is out working, we start to talk to this grandmother, she proudly tells us that one soon works in a good job (a bank or something), and her other son is working in Qutar in construction, then we talk to her about her own life, her story, and she gladly starts to share with us, it is a warm story, about her passion for cooking, that is now a business of hers, she was recently rewarded with a tender to cook for the local hospital, 3 meals a day, so it is a lot of business, you can see that she is very proud of herself, and for great reasons, but her story doesnt stop her, she even has people learning to cook from her, she is sharing her ways of cooking, the preparation of different dishes with other women, and she hires women in to help her with the cooking for the hospital ... we ask her about what the big problem now in the slum is - as child labour, employment and opportunities are slowly becoming better - she tells us her fears, and a big problem in the slum, the problem is a very well known problem, it is called human trafficing... - and here i start to sweat even more, human trafficking happens some 500 meter from where i am sitting, and she tells us what happens.. I wrote out a chapeter on this as well - but after longer time thinking i have decided not to post it on my blog, i guess the reasons are obvious...

...a perfect start on a long day...

after a troubled sleep, my alarm clock starts buzzing at 6.30 - time to get up, to be honest i feel like i just went to sleep, i didnt sleep that well, the emotions and impressions from last night is still to fresh in my memory.. Anandhi and her story kept me awake most of the night, i kept reflexting on my life so far, what i have achieved, what i would like to achieve still and for what higher purpose, it turned into a internal conversation about what is the price we pay for our material happiness, and to some extend how much we own, versus how much our items owns us.. - i guess my view on many things are being challenged to an extend i have never experienced before, and i feel lucky for this incredible reality check, i think we should all have one sooner rather than later...mine just completely took me by surprise - i didnt know it would be this difficult... okay any-ways so back to my morning ...

at 6.40 i am up and around - waiting impatiently for my first session of yoga, yupp, we managed to engage a instructor to come and give us lessons in yoga, and i am soo excited. So we get introduced to our instructor, a very "warm" man - that welcomes us, and then starts with the background of yoga, where it comes from, the different types of yoga.. and here it becomes interesting - personally i didnt know this, but yoga is a physical, mental, and spiritual discipline (i kinda thought it was only a bit of stretching - how naive i was, and i would soon feel that...), so now the goal of yoga, or of the person practising yoga as you might know, is the attainment of a state of perfect spiritual insight and tranquillity, it is indeed the "tool" if you like, to have everyone practising yoga reach his or her maximum potential - and this potential is happiness... and this is reaching through the exercises. So after the history we have some very simple breathing exercises to warm up with, a bit of bending, and moving arms up and down, each of the exercises we do, it shown slowly, then explained in details of what purpose it serves for your mind and body, and it all makes sooo much sense, we continue to do exercises for another 30 min - and i have to admit i am by now starting to break a sweat, and i can feel that my muscles are very stiff and not at all flexible, i will for sure need more training if i am to do some of the things that our instructor can do.. - but all beginning might be difficult, but after finishing of the session with a slight cool down session, i have to admit that i feel very much more relaxed, i am not sure if it happiness i feel right now, but for sure - i have indeed worked up and appetite and off to breakfast i go, time is ticking and Kumar is soon coming to pick us up.. - what a morning, what a start on my day - India is really showing itself from its charming side this morning..