..how time is flying ..

did you ever notice how time is just flying, so i was leaving the office just the other day, reliving my way to short weekend (they generally are, aren't they..) and i looked down on my watch only to realize that it was already evening, and that a couple of hours more and i would doze of to sleep. I woke up in the morning, again why to late, and on the way to work, i was thinking about how time is flying, first the day in itself is just gone in a blink of an eye, then its the week, then its the month and before you know it, a new year is here, and congratulation you just got one year older - what a circle, what a life, what a world.. i mean it isnt really that bad, right! i mean you have your ups and downs, you smile, you laugh, you cry, you do all of that, but by the end of the day do you really manage to do the things you want to ? do you do what you love to do ? or do you feel stuck ? i started asking myself similar questions - and the conclusion was that i ended up in india, not bad right, it then made me change jobs, i made me change a couple of things in my life, it made me live slightly healthier, do more sports, control my temper, ask for more help and support, in general i would like to believe that due to the fact that i have understood that time is one of the few factors in life that you cant control, it has made me a more "grateful" person, i try to get more out of life, sure work is part of this as well, trust me without your job (even if you have enough money) you would be missing out on a lot of great stuff, colleagues, stress, pressure, long working hours, aircondition, and of course lack of time to do proper lunch, but most of all you would be missing out on the excitement of weekend coming, holidays coming .. - and this is something i am much more appreciative about now than ever before..

so in the middle of all this consideration of time, lack of it, using it wrong, using it good, i remember one thing i used to teach when i was doing trainings a loooong time ago, which i find ever so true no, time management really isnt about managing time (anyways you cant really, its given and it wont change..) but it is all about managing yourself, and what you do with the time you have available, do you really get the most out of your time everyday or do you waste it away on being bitter and frustrated, if so, trust me it really isnt worth it, i use to be like that ...

so not to sound like the best person in the world (which if you have read some of my previous posting will know i am not trying to be..) but here is what i did and do, i wrote out a simple list, a list that contains all the things i want to do, i want to see, and what to experience.. and i am trying to make the items on the list small, and very tangible, once i have that i start to do those things, see those things and experience those things, then i sit down tick of on my list and start to add new items - and on and on and ... now when i reflect back on my week, month or year, i really feel that i have achieved something..

so you might ask me for an example, here you go..  i wrote down i wanted to change my job role, aaanndd - as of 1st of july this year i started a new role .. tick in the box, on to the next one ..

friends whatever you do, you wont get more time, it is up to you how you use it, but with everything precious in life, it can never be replaced or substituted - so my advice to you is this, use your time wisely, dont waste it, its like wasting the most precious gift .. it would just be wrong..

with those words enough with the romance - friends, have a nice day, and till our next time, stay true.. 

..getting a bit confused ..

so every time i figure out something new, every time i get the understanding of something new, every time i get comfortable with something - something new and different comes along.. now its not that i consider myself out of date already, however i am starting to not being able to keep the pace, and i wonder how anybody can anymore. A long time ago i decided not to go with FB as i didnt find any needs for it, then i started doing a blog, then it was all of the hotmail / yahoo / gmail set up, then it was skype, it was ICQ, then slowly twitter, xing, linkedin, twitter, G+, dropbox, pinterest, klout, instagram, and it just keeps on coming .. i understand the structure of all of them, which is to build a "community", i guess some of them are meant to help you become more productive, but aren't all of those tools, micro-blogs etc starting to demand more of your time than before, are we not looking at investing more and more time on-line versus face to face, (okay that sounds so old fashion..), is this healthy? not that long ago i posted a tweet, which caused me to get a couple of direct messages that was rather unpleasant, my only comment was that with all the focus on internet / online children are now a-days becoming totally ad utterly socially awkward, i mean come on we have a new concept that is the "ipad generation", i was truly and utterly shocked when i heard that the first time .. imagine kids now-a-days dont smile to each other but send a :-) how weird..

so going from me being mentally tired of all the changes to internet / "onlineness" / my social community building / my own connectivity i am starting to look more at a new generation that is building their whole socialness on being online - what will happen when / if there is a outage.. what has the world come to.. i know you can stop development, but cant we make a balance between one and the other ..

As always if you have a comment or reply - feel free to drop me a line, .. till then stay social ..  

Once again it is reflection time..

So i promised i would be a bit more active on my blog, so here is two in a row .. :-) a couple of things are on my mind today..

First is about my blog, twitter, and Google+ page. So i have been asked by several people by now, what is your blog, twitter, etc all about? its actually very simple, its about everything and nothing, it is work related, it is personal, it is in general what is on my mind, sometimes inspirational thinking, problems, issues, friendship, all the things that we all are going through, i just choose to share these things with whoever wants to read, i am not saying i have the answers to everything, nor do i believe that my way is the best way, i simply need to get my thoughts out in the open .. - so if you are like me, great join the club, come with your input, share your thoughts, and lets get is all out in the open .. if you are not like me, well i hope you will find what i write and share at least a bit entertaining, because by the end of it all, isnt that really what we all miss, fun and entertainment .. arent we always asked to be serious, to concentrate, to focus, to be mature etc. why does it all have to be sooooo serious ..

Now the second thing is about making mistakes, and regretting them.. - uff that all of a sudden turned to a more serious topic, how many of us have made mistakes in our life? how many of us have done something bad or wrong to another person? how many of us have done something that we regret? Oh my God i can answer "yes" to all of them .. and multiple times, if mistakes and bad choices would be building blocks in a road, i would be able to build a highway by now. But here is the thing, its not that much about making the mistake, its not about the regret, its about understanding deep down inside of you that you made something wrong.. So i will give you an example so you can see what i mean, in my past i might have been a bit more selfish than i am now, i was young immature, and in general i didnt value what i had or who i had in my life (and i bet i am not the only one ..) so i hurt a lot of people, i upset a lot of friends, and it in general wasnt very nice....

After some strong wake-up calls, friends leaving you, girlfriend breaking up with you, colleagues ignoring you, you kinda end up in a place where you can a) blame everybody else but yourself or b) take a deep and long look at your life.. needless to say that i choose a) in the beginning - only to find myself repeating the same mistakes .. eventually i get forced to take choice b) and it was scary, it was unpleasant, it was ugly .. not so much because of what i had become, but more because of all the people i had cause pain. After spending a lot of time (and i mean years..) with regrets and guilt i actually ended doing the one and only thing i could do, i asked for forgiveness - i asked for forgiveness from my friends, family and ex-girlfriend, it was relieving, but to my surprise the guilt and regrets didnt go away, and that was when i realized the big thing, you can ask for forgiveness from others, from your love ones, and if they really do love you - they will forgive you, because in the end they love you .. - but the one that is the most difficult one to ask for forgiveness from, is actually yourself!

The road for self-recovery is a long and hard one my friends, its tough, it is not nice what you might find, but in the end it is worth it .. and for those people that you have hurt, they might not believe that you changed, they might not want to believe you - and thats okay, thats fine, the most important thing is that you know it!!

When i went and apologized needless to say that not everybody was equally impressed with me, they didnt believe my sincerity, my feelings, my want to change, and i still doubt that till now have found it in their hearts to forgive me, which is ok, because trust me when i say they cant put me through anything that i havent been through with myself already - they cant tell me anything i havent told myself already, they cant do anything to me, i havent done already ... - in the end your own worse enemy is yourself!

So a bit of deep thoughts on a Friday afternoon, but here is the conclusion, as important as it is to ask other people for forgiveness when you make mistakes, it is even more important that you forgive yourself, that you look at yourself and commit to yourself that you wont make that same mistake again..

Friends with this i wish you all a great weekend, remember one thing, Forgive but do forget .. 

It has been tooo long since my last post

so here goes, this will be one of the first and last times you will hear my apologies, so pay attention.. I am sorry for not being around lately, sorry for not posting anything lately, and more important i am sorry for not keeping you up-to-date with what i have been doing lately... (theoretically i can come with a long list of excuses - but i will spare you for that ...) Instead, let me promise you that i will try harder to stay in touch... (oh i did mention that i am on twitter so there you can find out what this little bird is up to ..)

Anyways let me give you a short (ultra-short) update, so life has changed a lot since i came back from India - i guess everything started with India and now the ball is rolling. I have asked myself this question many times by now, "would i have gone to India, knowing just how much i would change?" - the answer is a clear and obvious ..... "yes, but"... i sometimes have the feeling that an innocent "Martin" went to India and a much more mature "Martin" returned, i mean i still joke and laugh, but something inside of me has changed, i am more "aware", more realistic, i see things in a different light, and more over all of the "dots" are now starting to get connected .. I am referring to the "dots" a lot lately, but i really find it important to understand "how" and "why" you end up in the situation as you do .. - so that is what i mean with connecting the dots..

So besides the fact that i have change my life, i have also change job, still working for the same company, (a dead give a way what company that is, if you would look at my twitter profile :-) and you know as well as i do, that with all changes comes dynamics, challenges, stress, mistakes, hard work, and trust me i have and still is going through these things ... - but one thing i can honestly say is, wow what a great set of people i am working with and working for, sure everybody have ups and downs, so do i, so do the people i work with and work for, that natural, but i really do feel that the people i work with are passionately about their job, they give it their maximum and then more, and boy do the make it look simple (i am still struggling with a lot of things - dont tell anybody) ..

Friends this was a short little update from me, more to come (i promise..), remember one thing, "love what you do, and do what you love.."

till our next time, take care, 

..a long time since my last update..

before i start - my apologies for not being around lately .. work is consuming all my time lately .. :-(( good news is that i am finally moving forward in the modern age of technology and you can now follow me on ... - yes you guessed it TWITTER ... look me up on @nielsen_1978 ... and there i try to be much more active .. so give me a tweet, drop me a line ..

so till that tweet tweet - little bird .. :-)))  

..Where to begin, and where to end..

after close to 25 hours of waiting, travelling, waiting so more and then traveling some more I finally eye my end stop - Vienna airport, as I take my bag, and move through the checkout, I am met by the driver that is helping me with my luggage when we come to the car, it is freezing for me, I am seriously cold, and not only because I didn't sleep for 25 hours but because it is -2 degrees outside. As I get into the car, and we sneak out from the airport - it hits me the first time that I am back in Europe, it is dark and cold outside, and as we go slowly accelerate on the highway it hits me, there are almost no cars on the highway, there is no sound, and it is so quiet, so silent, so boring.. After a 45 min drive I am finally at home, the key slides into the lock, I hear the familiar click when I unlock the door and I step into my empty apartment, everything is as I left it 4 weeks ago, I cant help but think to myself that it is with a bitter sweet symphony I am at home, I miss my friends in India, I miss my colleagues that I was use to meeting everyday in Chennai, I miss the sounds, the smell, the atmosphere, I pretty much miss everything, this 4 week assignment has impacted me more than I ever dreamt of ..

As I unpack my bag the smell of India is still hanging in my cloth, and it makes me think back to what I went through in India, the memories, the fun, the tears, the experiences, looking back it hits me even harder how much I miss India, one chapter of my life is over and a new one will start, and with this in the back of my mind I slide into a heavy sleep, were I am reconnected with my friends and colleagues from India.

I spend almost 3 month preparing for a 4 week assignment in India, and I feel that it all just started last night - I feel like it was last night that my friend (that I will be grateful to forever for this) told me that I should apply for this assignment, I feel like it was last night that I was sitting at home receiving the e-mail, telling me that I would spend 4 weeks in Chennai, I feel like it was last night that I found out that I would be working for a NGO supporting street children and promoting child rights, like last night that I met Susanna and the rest of the CSC team, like it was last night that we had our first call with our client.. but it is now 4 months later, and a lot of new of memories later, it is a different martin that is back in Bratislava, it is a martin that has lived through ups and downs, seen different things, tried different things, it is a martin that went through a changing process, a maturing process, where he learned about himself - I can truly say that I have learn new dimensions about myself, I have changed in my leadership style, I have improved in many aspects, I have become more flexible, adaptable and adjustable to pretty much whatever is thrown at me, I feel I can work and lead in any environment, I feel I have learn how to truly connect with people that I though I would never be able to connect with, I feel I have become a bit more humble, I have become a bit less egoistic, and much more patient  .. and it is all thanks to these last 4 months

so before thinking about how much I have changed and what I have changed into, I seriously need to get use to the weather, when I was leaving Chennai it was 32 degrees and outside is a nice fresh -3 degrees welcoming me, this and also the almost 5 hours time difference, it is hitting me harder than I thought, all in all I think I underestimated a lot of things before going to India - next time when I return there I will make sure I don’t, and I will return to India, I mean it is a fantastic country, there is a ton of things to see and do, and as the country is so incredible hug it will take me a least a couple of trips back before I see what I would like to see, I guess I will have my travel plans made out for myself for the next couple of years, and one last thing about India, before I left to India I couldn’t imagine living and working there, now back in Bratislava I can easily imagine living and working in India - funny how life turns out ..

so to all of my colleagues that might read this, if you ever get a chance to go on our CSC assignment, don’t wait one single sec to apply it is a wonderful, amazing and fantastic experience - and I am forever going to be thankful for having had this chance, to meet, to learn, to see, to smell, to experience, to change, to develop and to grow .. - It is a life changing experience ..

Personally, I have never in my wildest imagination thought going to India would have had such a profound impact on my life, I have never thought that my life would be turn so incredible upside down as it has been, I never dared to hope for such a wonderful life-changing experience, and now that I have had it - the question is what is next for me ? that my friends is a question that I can not answer right now, however what I do know is that I will always have India inside of me, it is burned deep within me ..

..it all started with a Thali and it finishes here as well..

so remember when i wrote a post about my first thali - it was in a place called "woodlands" not that far from where we live, well the team, or the left overs from the team decided to go there for dinner, after we had a small hugging session on the 2nd floor, we got some small presents from the hotel staff and in return they got some tips for their work during the past 4 weeks, it was a nice couple of hours, although i caught myself several times in going from high laughter to being quiet for a while - thinking to myself "its all over now, the end is near .." and a long flight and day is in front of me tomorrow morning, oh well no time to be sad about it now - i can do that when i am home alone right, so i refind my good mood, and we walk of to woodlands...

(Kristian and Susanna discussing the outcome of the program .. note her Saree .. ) 

at woodlands we spend most parts of our time to talk about our lessons learned, what we have changed or improved on, what we have developed, and the conversation is really great..we are talking and discussing whether or not it was long enough, or to long time spend in india, and in general we all share our opinions and feedback from the 4 weeks - the passed by in a blink of an eye ... and once again i blink and i find myself standing outside the hotel saying my goodbyes to Kristian, and after that we spend another 2 hours talking on the 2nd floor, before i at around midnight say my last goodbyes and then i am off to a night that is going to be short - and eventually bring me nothing but twisting and turning... tomorrow is going to be a long day ...



"...the end of our trip is near, the time is up, we say our goodbye to each other, to what have become friends and family, and to a fantastic country and city that has left its marks on our souls forever and ever, memories that i hope will never be forgotten, faces that will stay with me till i am old and grey..." 


Martin Nielsen, November 11th - 2011