..true beauty in the Slum of Chennai..

So i have had what i believe, are life changing moments a couple of times, and i have had a couple of encounters with people that have really changed my life, but i have never EVER EVER had anybody touch me so deep in my heart as today .. just now sitting in my room writing this thinking back on this moment - i am almost having tears in my eyes.. - this was truly a moment that made me realize so many things - and it only took 60 min ...

now i need to tell you one thing, and that is that i never wanted to come to Chennai to live the "larger" part of life, i want to see the real India - and oh my God did i see that, so we got into a rickshaw (Kumar was taking Virgil to a presentation so we didnt have his company..) we take a ride along side the habour area, and see what has happened there, litterally the government decided to make a highway going to the habour, and with this decision they tore down the housing of the people living there, to have them move, move into smaller flats, have them give up everything they had, however the government made one mistake, they though the people would actually leave, but they didnt - so the rebuild their houses into something that looks like small sheds, no electricity, no water, pretty much no nothing, we have now officially enter the Slum area of Chennai, the ghetto .. - i mentioned once about the contrast in Chennai - but this beats all i have ever seen, the polution, the trash everywhere, the poverty there, it is indescribable... - it is horrible at first, then overwhelming, then something happens to you - you notice the emotions, the energy and the life there, and it really gets to you.. so now where we are going is even more powerful in terms of feelings and emotions, we walk for around 10 - 15 in the side alleys of the slum, people are smiling at us, looking with big eyes at us, you feel the interest in you from them, so many of the kids are approach you to say a simple "hi" only to run away shy .. - it is soo nice, sweet and refreshing, i dont remember ever feeling this welcomed into any community. After some 15 min walk we reach our destination, it is a small little house, outside the house we are greeted by Anandhi, Anandhi welcomes us to her house, i guess she is in her mid or late 30s, its difficult to judge (after all it doesnt really matter) she places some red paint on our foreheads as it is custom to do, when you welcome someone into your house. The house is small and we walk directly into her living room, where we are sat down and offer some CAJ - we get introduced to Anandhi, and here is her story ..

Anandhi has been married for 19 years, she has got 2 children, a boy and a girl, she has never studied and is not ashamed of saying so, out of 19 years of marriage, she tells us that she has had many years of fighting with her husband, it has taking a torn on her family. However what you might do not know is that Anandhi is a very talented stitcher, she is making very beautiful Sari (the tradional dress for women in India), actually Anandhi is so good in this that some 6 years ago, she decided to change her life, she got a loan and support from the NGO we work for - to set up a small business, doing stitching and making sari, now 6 years later, guess what she is doing, she is stitching for big companies that are exporting her work to other countries including Europe, her cloth can be found in shops in India, but it doesnt stop there, she could easily take all she makes, move to another house and leave her community behind her, however she decided against that, she stayed and not only did she stay, but she is now teaching other women how to stitch so they can make a living for themselves as well, she is helping them set up business for themselves, she is improving and changing the mind-set of her community - a community that just happened to be located dead-central of the slum. Anandhi is a fantastic woman, she talks to us about her hopes for her children, her daughter comes to greet us as well - her daughter wants to study software engineering, her son already studies mechinical engineering, they are having a bright future in front of them.. her marriage is working much better now, and she is financially much better off now, but what is one of the things she is the most proud of is, that her husband now finally respects her... - respects her, i dont only respect Anandhi, i admire her, i once again start to feel humble in her presence, i feel like i have taken so many things for granted in my life, i have so many things in my life that i dont need, and in general i have been so lucky i guess in many aspects, and i havent truly appreciated this - i feel a bit ashamed of this in front of Anandhi, knowing what she has lived through, i guess i can only change my future - and accept where i am coming from, so that is one "demon" i have to fight i guess. So i am curious about one thing, and i ask Anandhi, what motivates her to do such a thing, and what her dreams are .. her answer is simple, direct, she does what she does because she doesnt want woman to be standing outside their houses feeling they are not worth anything, she wants women to feel self-confident, respected in their communities, respect from their husbands, and moreover she wants them to help other people, again i hear this "pay it forward" approach.. and that is what community building is all about .. and for her dreams, well simple - her daughter to go to university and graduate .... Anandhi is a rolemodel, a source of inspiration for many women, a community leader, a change agent, and i sincerely hope that i will get to meet her once again - she touched something inside of me, deep inside of me, she showed me how much good there is in this world, how much good that can come out of something that poor, something that pure i havent see in a long time.. - if ever! We leave her house - and for as long as we can see her, she is standing outside, with her daughter and other people coming over to hear the "gossip" of the two foreigners coming to visit her, she is smiling and waving to us, i smile back at her and then i can no longer see her, but i feel her inspiration inside of me, i feel her passion burning in me, i feel her warmth, her kidness, and her happiness inside of me - and i know, if i ever will be in a situation that seems hopeless to me, i will think of Anandhi, i will think of her story.. i will never forget her... - oh and by the way Anandhi is Tamil for "happiness", and that is the right name for her, happiness ... Anandhi thank you..

"we are visitors on this planet, we are here for ninety or a hundre years at the very most, during that period we must try to do something good, something useful, with our lives, if you contribute to other peoples happiness, you will find the true goal, the true meaning of life"  ..... Dalai Lama

...First day at work..

Its 9.30 and Kumar our driver is here to pick us up, we get in to what seems to be a very luxurious rickshaw, nice, clean and very well taken care of, Kumar is a very good driver, doesnt drive to fast, is very respect full, you can clearly see that he has been told to take good care of Susanna and i.. As we travel to our destination, today it is out near the harbour we are going - the HQ of the NGO we are working for, the drive takes us near by the beach where we have been spending a couple of evenings already - it takes us further, it takes us down some side alleys into a complete new district for us, i am excited, we are about to step into our first team meeting with the NGO. So after a bit of conversation with Virgil, we get introduce to the extended team, to sit-through their weekly review, talking through their last week and next week activities, it is exciting to sit in on this meeting, to hear their issues, their excitement sharing their stories.. after roughly an hour or so - the meeting is over, and we get moved into a smaller room where our lunch is served ... unbelievable - the food is soo tasty, the best till now, the chicken is perfect, i have to control myself not to eat to much (which is really difficult - because it truly is very nice).

After lunch we get to sit with the "core team" to discuss the next couple of days and weeks, we get their input on what they thing needs special attention, they give us a better understand of how the organization works, and what it is focusing on, what is the structure etc.. it is such a dynamic conversation .. and at one point i realize that we talked non-stop for 2 hours almost (it seems like it was a couple of min. only).. So now it is time to leave the office to get into the "field", and here starts a new episode of my life ...  

..going out of my comfort zone..

okay so a bit of self-reflection here, the moment has come for it, i guess i am known for many different things, one thing i might not be known for is my emotional side.. so i will go a bit out of my comfort zone to share with you some of my personal feelings right now, i will challenge myself a bit with opening up - and we will see how that goes, so bare with me, as this is new territory for me..

right now i am sitting in my hotel room, tv is on in the background, i can hear the noise from the street, i can hear some Tamil being spoken, i can hear the rickshaws passing, but to be honest my thoughts are elsewhere - i relive the conversation that i had today, the passion and the feelings, the believes and hopes that was shared at our meeting today. i feel i am standing at a truly defining moment in my life, tomorrow in roughly 12 hours i will go to the office of Arunodhaya, we will meet with the "core" group of people from the NGO - to discuss our project, and the scope of work over the next 4 weeks, the deliverables, our success criteries and so on, how can you define success criteria for such a project, as long as there will be children abused and exploited we are not successful, as long as children will be put up for trafficking we are not successfull, as long as people are not able to become financial sustainable, we are not successful, and as long as children cant be children - we are not successful, as long as children, all children has access to education we are not successful

... so right now i am feeling lost, i am feeling emotional, i feel humble, i feel a bit guilty, in terms of going into that NGO well knowing that less than 4 weeks from now i will leave back to my comfortable life -  having all of those luxurious items that i rarely ever use anyways... - this truly is a challenge for me, right now it feels like i am being weighted down by a mountain, this level of expectations is something they dont teach you in school, at the university or at your management training..puuhhh there is a ton of "what-ifs" flying around in my mind, i guess there is a lot of insecurity, a lot of emotional stress, and also a strong sense of helplessness - a friend of mine once told me "martin you cant carry the problems of the world on your shoulders".. although i know he is right - this is the time for me to step up, take responsibility, leave a legacy, make a difference, and take my load of the work here, Virgil and her team has been doing it for such a long time, so we will go in and make a difference, we will go in and give it our all, we will strive to deliver our maximum, and when all is said and done - we will have been successful.. - but i will always keep in the back of my mind, that this is a project that will never finish until the vision of Virgil and her team is fulfilled ... - and as long as we have leaders like her - there is still hope - she inspires you, so impassionate you, and she motivates you ... she makes the impossible seem possible, and to be honest that is what we all need - i doubt there has ever been a person in my life that has made such a strong impression on me, so fast, as she has - i am left feeling humble that she and her organization has choosen me as their "consultant", and that they feel i am the right person to support and help them, i feel honored and blessed for this opportunity..

so my friends a bit of emotions from me this time around - this assignment truly is a life changing moment for me (for all of us here in Chennai i guess) it is making sense out of all the dots in my life till now, looking back at my life it seems like this is what i have been working towards..

please remember one thing: "to feel that something is impossible, really is just because we didnt try yet - try and you will see that impossible is everything but that" .. i believe in you - believe that you can make a change, become the change.. and i will do the same ...

.. a defining moment...

I know i promised you that i wouldnt be to serious on this blog - and about my stay here in India, however i will need to disappoint you a bit, as i will take a bit more serious approach, at least for this posting. So the team and i, just arrived back from a visit with your clients, we started at 11.00 and just finished now 17.00 so a lot of talks and networking, a great meeting, but moreover a eye opener for me.. so let me give you a bit of background about myself that you might not know, every since i can remember i have been involved in community services, volunteering and so on, i have this firm believe that each of us has a responsibility to give back to our local communities, and through this collective effort improve our communities, i have been doing this for years, and frankly speaking has been starting to loose my way, loose my energy and passion for it - as i didnt feel that anything has changed, i didnt feel that people would finally start to live up to their responsibility - to take the lead on changes, and become positive change agents, so i guess this trip was and is for me a chance to get re-energized to continue my efforts..

So now imagine the things i have been called because i believe in the fact that one person can make a difference, that one man or woman can do some good in society - words like naive, stupid, romantic and worse ... - i have seen people shaking their heads at me, when i talk about social responsibility, when i tell people to stop complaining and start acting ... hopeless once in a while.. and rather demotivating, but friends things are getting heated up here in Chennai :-))

So finally i managed to meet with my Client Ms. Virgil D'Sami, the founder of the NGO that i will be working with together with Susanna my colleague from Sweden, so let me give you an idea about what ARUNODHAYA - the name of the NGO is having of vision

.."To build a social movement that will uproot all forms of exploitation and oppression of children and promote and protect the basic human rights of children enabling them to enjoy a dignified childhood"...

What do you think of that ? i know what i think - and the only thing i can say to it is WOW!! a dignified childhood, basic human rights of children, exploitation and oppression - what a cause, what a noble thing to strive for, and here i am almost loosing my faith in doing good, well friends guess what, i am BACK!!!! and this time i am not coming alone, i was sitting in a room with 40 - 50 other people that might be naive, that might be "stupid" that might be a lot of things, but we ALL believe we can change the world - so either come and join or step aside because we are getting started - and we bring passion, believe and change with us...

Susanna and i was talking to Virgil for maybe 5 hours non-stop, what a facinating woman, what an inspirational leader, and what a great person! so some of the thing we talked about where circled around child labour, what is the reason for this, what is the future of these abused children, how it creates a evil circle, what is the responsibility of the governmental sector, the private sectors, the responsibility of you and me.. so look at this, although a child might want to be a child, often in India this is taken away from them due to the fact of parents getting divorced, alcohol issues and other reasons, could you imagine your younger brother or sister, daughter or son being "sold" of to a company to work 12 - 14 hours a day, often resulting in serious health issues, accidents, and in many cases has violence involved ... - so i cant accept that and i wont, so here i am going to help and support this NGO with education so the children can be children, have the right to play and be kids.. so how do we do that, well getting ride of children labour is something that the government can forbid, however what has been seen is that child labour is moved from big companies into smaller housings so although illegal still exists, you need to change the approach, you need to change the mind-set of the local communities, you need to challenge the system, and get people to want to achieve more. Now our task is to help and support a core group of people in the organization in project management so they can teach and train others in project management, so they can start up business, go and make a living for themselves and through this improve their financial situation, hence make child labour useless. So we will support and train the core group so in the end every child can have the right to be a child, and then finally have the right to get an education, and this right to having an education is a very provocative statement as it directly challenges the so-called "cast" system here in India, so that hosts a whole different set of problems.. oh and try to imagine you coming from the slum - where would you study ? what would you pay books with ? school uniforms with ?

What we are looking at here, is that education has to be made key to the success, if you dont get the women / men more educated, you can get rid of child labour, and you dont get people to be interested in education unless you can show something worth considering, with education - what is that ? imagine you live below the poverty level, you have some 25 rupees a day which is not even 1/2 USD, how do you sell education to them, they never went to school, maybe they dont even know how to read or write - please promote education to them, have them spend their last money on that... - it is really not that straight forward, however education is the key to a better life for these people, it is the key to have their children be children, so we have to find a way to make people listen... we have to make them want to carry out this change, education is the key to eliminating child labour, it is the key to improve your living standards, your economical sustainability..You need to see child labour as part of the issue - the consequence but not the cause, the root cause is different, the outcome is child labour - and it is terrible.

Now as child labour has been made illigal in India with recent changes, a new issue starts to arise, and that is the youth exploiratation - youth are in the age of 15 - 18, they are not covered by the legal restrains, and they are to young to join a union, they are, if you will trapped in the middle, this now is starting to host a new set of issues, you cover one issue to uncover another, this is a evil circle...

Many can argue for the fact that this is a straight forward task, to teach a person to train other people, however you need to take into consideration that these people are not from the social upper-class, the are from the slum, they are the lowest low of the "cast" classes, so this is where it will be tricky - it needs to be applicable for a person that doesnt care about theoretical ideas, but needs practical approaches, so thats what we will adopt, a practical approach. With the project management training and train the trainer sessions i hope that we will be able to increase the self-confidence of the women and men being involved in this organization, and i hope and know they will be able to "pay it forward" .. to become change agents of their communities, so they can start youth groups, women support groups, men support groups and make it spread like rings in water ... to make it a powerful positive circle...

here is my last thoughts on todays meeting, call me naive, call me silly, call me romantic, call me whatever you need and want - i believe that everybody has rights, i believe that children has rights, i believe that children has the rights to have a childhood, a childhood that doesnt include working, but includes playing... i believe i can make a difference, i believe i can change the world - and i just came from a meeting where people from +10 different countries, 3 different continents came together - to share one vision, to change the world to something better, now you might not believe in this, and that is up to you - but as i said, dont stand in our way, because we are out on a mission, and that mission is to change.. so come and join... it will be worth it... i wont be easy - but i promise it will be worth it ... We do make a difference, we can change people - ... dont give up...
         
"Seeing a child work how can there be love in this world, childhood is a once in a life-time opportunity, that every child should experience"


Till our next time - stay true to your belief...

...up and at it ...

Goodmorning everybody - i guess for some of us it is morning, for others it is still sleeping time.. - so here is what i managed to do till now, i managed to finish the film "Titanic", who would ever have thought that i would be watching Titanic in India, for sure not me... okay i didnt watch all of it - just had it in the background..So after our evening briefing last night we went back to the beach, God i cant tell you how much i have missed the feeling of sand between my toes, i havent been at the sea side for almost 11 years (i guess i need a real holiday soon) so the water even at 21 in the evening was soooo hot..:-)) So getting back from the "east coast" we took a rickshaw back, with 3 in the back and 1 in the front (i feel so guilty for letting Quynh - our colleague sit in the front with the driver, who said anything about me being a gentleman..) and guess what happened, yes you guessed it, the driver got lost and we ended up circling around our blocks for like 5 - 10 min before we finally found our street - how about that for some excitement on a sunday evening..

So after some hours of sleep, it seems i am getting more use to the heat now at night - i got up, and went to join Susanna, Fred and Quynh for breakfast, this was by the way the first Indian breakfast that i have had, and it was very nice, toast, omelet and some other "stuff" (green stuff - taste nice) and some "caj" - which is pretty much tea with milk in it, and a ton of sugar... so now i have to get it out of my body before i have a sugar attack :-)) here in India people are really into sweet stuff :-)) so now i will do a small little work-out in the room (plan to head over to the gym tonight after work) and then at 10.30 we will go off to meet our clients, colleagues and other partners at a nearby hotel.. So i guess it will be a long but very exciting day ..

listen after tonight i will be able to explain to all of you what my assignment will be, as we will have it all clarified ... - rather late than never right ...

friends till our next time, enjoy your breakfast - i know i did.. :-))

...which way am i looking... left or right...up or down ...

My first Thali - i can get use to this, it lies good in my belly, i feel great, we step outside the restaurant, and get met with 35 degrees and sunshine - perfect... so now what, well what else can you do on a sunday than to go an see a temple, so we decide to do a 30 - 45 min walk (who cares about time, its sunday and i am in Chennai) to the temple, which is a temple made for Shiva, one of the Gods, - now i will not give you to much story here, but it here comes a bit ...:

Tirumayilai Shivastalam,
There seems to be many legends around this temple. However the one i found the most interesting is the one about the Goddess Parvati that was distracted during her daily ritual by a beautiful peacock dancing at a distance. Lord Shiva a bit upset about this and in order to make her realise the importance of total devotion to him, turned her into a peahen and sent her to the earth. The peahen arrived at this temple and started a penance in order to prove her devotion (how about that..). After a long and severe penance the Lord Shiva finally took her back into his fold. As Goddess Parvati was living in this place as a pea-hen, the place came to be known as 'Mayil-puri' (Mayil means pea-hen in Tamil) which was later anglicised to Mylapore.

And there you have it .. i can tell you some of the stories i have been told already about Shiva and Khrisna - are so facinating... okay so one more thing about the temple, we had to walk around the temple the symbolic "3" times before we could leave, and of course we had to take of our sandals.. - it was really a cool place, and i almost forgot to mention it, it was full of a very special guests, it was full of COWS... - you heard right folks, cows, holy cows .. coming from Denmark - having a slightly different point of view on cows, it was facinating to see the respect the indians showed to these cows.. - that wouldnt go to well in Denmark .. - we would end up eating the poor thing

So after finishing the 3 laps in the temple and finally getting our sandals and shoes back, it was seriously funny, one lady took our sandals and shoes hostages "noooo moneeey, no shoes"... it wasnt until one of the team members, coming from the northern part of india started to get involved did the "hostages" get released .. - this was by the way another funny story... remind me later to tell you this one .. Anyways, Fred, Ralph and i decide to walk home to the hotel, great idea boys, map, idea of direction, water, compass anything useful to navigate - nope we do the only thing you can do, as a man, we go with our "gut" feeling on where we think, believe and hope the hotel might be, needless to say we get lost, however you will not hear me officially admit to that, my take on it is that "we werent lost, we just didnt know where we were"... anyways we end up having a soft drink at a local shop, put in the address in the iphone, and the 1,3 km to the hotel - so we were close, yeah well "close but no cigar".. what did we learn from this experience, a couple of things did become more clear to me, traffic - forget about making sense out of it, it is instinct based - so look left and right, up and down, and accept the fact that the horn is beeing honked at you anyway you cross, besides accepting this fact we also slowly became a bit more brave on how to close the street - it doesnt take a long time for India to push it-self onto you ... - it is an incredible overwhelming feeling of how you become sucked into it, it absorbs you, and it will eventually get you - there is no reason or purpose to fight it, that is what i have realized, so guards down, and enjoy... - live and let live... As our facilitator Gavin would put it, be flexible and open minded - and thats what i am trying to do..

so along side this trip Fred, Ralph and i come up with this great idea, and the idea is "a 100 things to do in India" ... needless to say that the list is not complete yet (so if you have been to India - let me know what to add in your opinion) so i will start to list some of them here ... and folks your comments are always welcome ... - oh as you might have noticed, i dont take myself to serious, so guess what the list will be, okay in case the question was to hard, heres the answer, the list will not be tooo serious...

.... - so friends here goes, "a 100 things to do in India" ... first 10 things ...

1) have a fast ride with a Rickshaw
2) get lost in Chennai
3) get "spiced" up with some local Thali
4) be ripped off by a taxi driver
5) See some status of Shiva and Krishna
6) have a kingfisher (local beer) or two
7) tap a rickshaw on the roof while it passes you by and almost hits you
8) address all rickshaw drivers as "boss"
9) get chased by a wild dog on the street
10) try yoga

...anybody up for a bit of teaming..

i wake up, soar neck (i guess aircondition over night is not a smart idea), a sligth headach, and tired - another night where i didnt manage to sleep proper, this is turning into a bad habbit, okay up, fast shower and get dressed and the off to our prep meeting (our company security team is here to meet us..) it seems like we are living in the "upper" class of Chennai, and that "law and order" is tight as the former CM (Chief minister) of India is living near by (that explains the armed guards out on some of the streets. Anyway after some briefings, so other agenda items, we get to do our first "team building" event, - draw you life, sounds pretty simple but for a non-creative person like myself it is pretty tough, i end up presenting something that Picasso couldnt even do .. - yes folks it was that bad (a lot of my team members - were nice enought to lie to me, and tell me it was good.. - guys thanks for the moral support), oveall it was great fun, to hear life stories from my team members in 2 min. max. per person .. so thats that, and now lunch time...

outside it is 30 degrees - and i am in a matter of min. dripping .. litterally dripping, taxi comes, "yes boss, i take you, come come boss" (i am starting to answwer back with "boss") and that how it is done, 80 rupees later, we are at a very nice restaurant, we have something that reminded me of a tomatoe soup, it was a bit sweet, but very nice, and then comes the typical India bread - wow it is soo good, and and Thali - which is, i guess one of the most traditional dishes in india, so for those of you that like me are new to indian food here is what thali is all about ... - imagine a round metal tray, yes one of those that is used in the bar to carry drinks on, then imagine 8 - 10 small metal cups with different sauces, imagine adding some rice there, and remember it is all on that metal tray, and on the bottom of the tray is a leaf from a plant or three or something..so you place the rice on the leaf, add your choice of sauce and mix it with your RIGHT hand (remember the left hand is for your toilet stuff..) and then you sling it into your mouth and it is PERFECT!! a bit spicy, not to much, and very tasty - so i have to admit this old saying .. that food is tasting better when you eat with your hands - in this case it is soo true... - wonderful lunch, again beats the typical one of sandwich and coke.. oh and i forgot to mention that the Thali is vegi-food, and i am not considering myself a big vegi-fan, but i am getting there...

Friends - remember one thing, while eating Thali, use your right hand, and leave the left your private visits :-)))