A bit about myself..

My name is Martin Nielsen, and for the past almost 9 years i have been living in Slovakia - Bratislava. This blog here "a Trip versus a Journal" is my attempt to try and share my feelings, emotions, ideas, thoughts and anything else that might be on my mind ... - i hope you will enjoy it ... :-)

Friday 10 August 2012

Once again it is reflection time..

So i promised i would be a bit more active on my blog, so here is two in a row .. :-) a couple of things are on my mind today..

First is about my blog, twitter, and Google+ page. So i have been asked by several people by now, what is your blog, twitter, etc all about? its actually very simple, its about everything and nothing, it is work related, it is personal, it is in general what is on my mind, sometimes inspirational thinking, problems, issues, friendship, all the things that we all are going through, i just choose to share these things with whoever wants to read, i am not saying i have the answers to everything, nor do i believe that my way is the best way, i simply need to get my thoughts out in the open .. - so if you are like me, great join the club, come with your input, share your thoughts, and lets get is all out in the open .. if you are not like me, well i hope you will find what i write and share at least a bit entertaining, because by the end of it all, isnt that really what we all miss, fun and entertainment .. arent we always asked to be serious, to concentrate, to focus, to be mature etc. why does it all have to be sooooo serious ..

Now the second thing is about making mistakes, and regretting them.. - uff that all of a sudden turned to a more serious topic, how many of us have made mistakes in our life? how many of us have done something bad or wrong to another person? how many of us have done something that we regret? Oh my God i can answer "yes" to all of them .. and multiple times, if mistakes and bad choices would be building blocks in a road, i would be able to build a highway by now. But here is the thing, its not that much about making the mistake, its not about the regret, its about understanding deep down inside of you that you made something wrong.. So i will give you an example so you can see what i mean, in my past i might have been a bit more selfish than i am now, i was young immature, and in general i didnt value what i had or who i had in my life (and i bet i am not the only one ..) so i hurt a lot of people, i upset a lot of friends, and it in general wasnt very nice....

After some strong wake-up calls, friends leaving you, girlfriend breaking up with you, colleagues ignoring you, you kinda end up in a place where you can a) blame everybody else but yourself or b) take a deep and long look at your life.. needless to say that i choose a) in the beginning - only to find myself repeating the same mistakes .. eventually i get forced to take choice b) and it was scary, it was unpleasant, it was ugly .. not so much because of what i had become, but more because of all the people i had cause pain. After spending a lot of time (and i mean years..) with regrets and guilt i actually ended doing the one and only thing i could do, i asked for forgiveness - i asked for forgiveness from my friends, family and ex-girlfriend, it was relieving, but to my surprise the guilt and regrets didnt go away, and that was when i realized the big thing, you can ask for forgiveness from others, from your love ones, and if they really do love you - they will forgive you, because in the end they love you .. - but the one that is the most difficult one to ask for forgiveness from, is actually yourself!

The road for self-recovery is a long and hard one my friends, its tough, it is not nice what you might find, but in the end it is worth it .. and for those people that you have hurt, they might not believe that you changed, they might not want to believe you - and thats okay, thats fine, the most important thing is that you know it!!

When i went and apologized needless to say that not everybody was equally impressed with me, they didnt believe my sincerity, my feelings, my want to change, and i still doubt that till now have found it in their hearts to forgive me, which is ok, because trust me when i say they cant put me through anything that i havent been through with myself already - they cant tell me anything i havent told myself already, they cant do anything to me, i havent done already ... - in the end your own worse enemy is yourself!

So a bit of deep thoughts on a Friday afternoon, but here is the conclusion, as important as it is to ask other people for forgiveness when you make mistakes, it is even more important that you forgive yourself, that you look at yourself and commit to yourself that you wont make that same mistake again..

Friends with this i wish you all a great weekend, remember one thing, Forgive but do forget .. 

Thursday 9 August 2012

It has been tooo long since my last post

so here goes, this will be one of the first and last times you will hear my apologies, so pay attention.. I am sorry for not being around lately, sorry for not posting anything lately, and more important i am sorry for not keeping you up-to-date with what i have been doing lately... (theoretically i can come with a long list of excuses - but i will spare you for that ...) Instead, let me promise you that i will try harder to stay in touch... (oh i did mention that i am on twitter so there you can find out what this little bird is up to ..)

Anyways let me give you a short (ultra-short) update, so life has changed a lot since i came back from India - i guess everything started with India and now the ball is rolling. I have asked myself this question many times by now, "would i have gone to India, knowing just how much i would change?" - the answer is a clear and obvious ..... "yes, but"... i sometimes have the feeling that an innocent "Martin" went to India and a much more mature "Martin" returned, i mean i still joke and laugh, but something inside of me has changed, i am more "aware", more realistic, i see things in a different light, and more over all of the "dots" are now starting to get connected .. I am referring to the "dots" a lot lately, but i really find it important to understand "how" and "why" you end up in the situation as you do .. - so that is what i mean with connecting the dots..

So besides the fact that i have change my life, i have also change job, still working for the same company, (a dead give a way what company that is, if you would look at my twitter profile :-) and you know as well as i do, that with all changes comes dynamics, challenges, stress, mistakes, hard work, and trust me i have and still is going through these things ... - but one thing i can honestly say is, wow what a great set of people i am working with and working for, sure everybody have ups and downs, so do i, so do the people i work with and work for, that natural, but i really do feel that the people i work with are passionately about their job, they give it their maximum and then more, and boy do the make it look simple (i am still struggling with a lot of things - dont tell anybody) ..

Friends this was a short little update from me, more to come (i promise..), remember one thing, "love what you do, and do what you love.."

till our next time, take care,